So, went to Mayo Clinic and had a whole battery of tests done and they say I'm in EXCELLENT health exccept for smoking which will imminently and quickly lead to heart attack if I don't stop. No wiggle room, says the doc. So, I have on a patch and am quitting. I'm determined this time. I want to smoke but I don't want to die young, so there you go. Still, it's very annoying at the moment. Am sequestered until I get over the intial anger, frustration, denial, temptations, etc. Gack.
Otherwise, life is good. Mom and I have become The Bickersons. Staying with her in a hotel room for 4 days was well, a bit trying though we laughed about it at the end of the day. She has some major issues, which one does at 80. She's really pretty good but that's not her attitude nor perception of it. I just listen and take deep breaths. She gives me LOTS of advice...well intentioned but as if I was born a couple hours ago.
Went to go riding today and as soon as I got there it started pouring rain. 10 minutes after I got all the way back home, it stopped. Of course it did.
I'm irritable and am going to take a nap now.
It will pass.
Going to Arizona to meet with friends in the fall..to my favorite Apache Lake.
Something to look forward to.
Anybody out there??
Besides hackers?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm here!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it, Ginny. I know you can. I have no doubt you can do anything you set your mind to...sounds cliche but it is the truth!
Thanks for stopping by, Jenny, and for the supportive comment. Nice to know I had a visitor.
ReplyDeleteHey there. What a big goal! But you can do it. Our employer is making September 1 officially "No Smoking" at work. Cigs are not allowed on the property for all employees. Insurance is offering a program to help those who want to quit. There's also the smokeless cig that's supposed to be successful.
ReplyDeleteWell, keep your readers posted. We will be cheering for ya!
I'm doing pretty well..had 5 yesterday. Will have fewer today. Cravings aren't as bad. Do you smoke, Paint? I am determined. It is difficult indeed but I want to be a non-smoker, finally and forever. thanks for well wishes. I've been very domestic, trying to keep busy so I don't think about it. Nesting and pouting!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with the giving up, BSG. Walking away from the nicotine appears to be one of the most difficult things an adult human can do. I don't know what kind of help I can offer from here, but if I can think of anything, I'll let you know. Meanwhile: I'm cheering for you.
ReplyDeletePaint is me, Summerwind aka Anita aka Wildstorm. Not sure why it posted as my blogger name that I never use! No I don't smoke. Around smokers though and trying to help them make the commitment!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dirk. And everyone. It really truly means a lot just to see these messages here. I'm doing fair, if you want honesty. Some times are harder than others. I haven't put them down completely but when i run out of them, i will not buy more. I am at about 5 or 6 a day from 20 and working out like a fiendish manic witchy woman who is quitting smoking. I wish I had a quiet room I could lock myself into for a month. Addiction I have experienced in other forms. This one is particularly evil. I am however resolved, and start each day with new resolve. I refuse to fail this time. I have tried so many times before and the worst of all is failure...I have never failed at anything else in my life. This stupid stick has beaten me more times than i can count. I fuckin hate it. For real. But when i beat it, I'm gonna feel like Rocky Balboa....against all odds, a champ. AND I'M GONNA LIVE AND COME VISIT AUSTRALIA. SO THERE!!
ReplyDeleteQuiting is one of the hardest things I have done. After 2 years I still want one but don't have to have one. After 5 or 6 attempts of quiting I succeded and so can you. Just don't give up.
ReplyDeleteI'm pulling for you hang in there.
Skip
Thanks, Skip. I'm hanging in there. I got really down yesterday as all my test results came back from Mayo. Most of them are in the superior range but the calcification is in the 95th percentile putting me at very high risk for heart attack. Crap. And I cannot tolerate the drug they gave me for high bad cholesterol. So will lower that by exercising even more than I do now, like 4 hours a day already. I also have elevated protein levels which can be indicative of cancer. And hips have signs of arthritis...I knew they hurt sometimes. But I felt good before I went and had these tests done. Now I'm scared and sad and worried. T'is why I don't do doctors. But yeah, I AM quitting smoking. I hate that i will still want one 2 years later...many people say that. But I don't care. I quitting and that's that. But meanwhile life sure isn't a whole bunch of fun for me. I'm gonna walk and ride. That always helps my spirits. And I'm gonna forget about these tests. It's not doing me any good to stress about it and I know what I have to do to lower my risks.
ReplyDeleteI already knew. Shoulda left it at that.
Bah.
Attitude will improve. Can't get much worse right now.
pffffbbbbtttt.....
Wish I could go horse camping but nobody to go with me and Gracie freaks without Chance along...